You might be a reenactor if..

Moderator: the_power

You might be a reenactor if..

Postby Irish-American on Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:15 pm

(This has been round awhile but we all need a laugh I think :lol:

You might be a reenactor if...

Author unknown

You might be a reenactor if...

...you've ever been chased out of a DAR meeting for "Spreading lies about our glorious forefathers!"

...sleeping outside in the rain and mud is your idea of a fun Saturday night.

...you can identify a regiment by the curses heard from their camp. (Son of a who?)

...you can't sing without a mug of something in your hand.

...you can spot oznaburg linen at 30 yards.

...you have ever spent over 300 dollars on clothes that went out of style over 200 years ago.

...you have ever replayed A&E's "The Revolutionary War" 25 times in a row just to get a glimpse of your foot in the left-hand corner of the screen.

...you've ever uttered the phrase "only 68 more days 'til (pick an event)!"

...you've ever fondled your musket lovingly.

...you consider life's essentials to be black powder and booze!

...you've ever gotten laid under canvas

...your employer says: "Oh, are you going out to play that war crap again?"

...your dinner guests see one of your uniforms and exclaims "Are you in a theater production?"

...your neighbor's dog is barking due to the high frequency pitch of the fifes playing in your back yard.

...you've stockpiled lots of candles by the back door as a reminder not to forget them.

...you travel over 2000 miles to sleep in tent, at an historic site.

...you've yelled at an 1840's Rendezvous "Flintlocks forever! Nipples are for Squaws!"

...used your flintlock to kill something to eat.

...spent over $1000 for a gun that has to have a sharp rock in it to work.

...get excited when an event says "NO TEEPEES, DYRE MOCCASINS, OR CAPLOCK GUNS"

...name and have slept with your firelock.

...put on your "Real" clothes just to look at yourself in the mirror.

...don't participate in games that encourage the throwing away of your weapon.

...think a "match" is a glowing cord.

...you've sat in a theater with your friends and puzzled the audience by laughing through most of "Revolution" starring Al Pacino.

...you drive by some open land and think "What a great place for a battle!"

...for Men: You're at the beach and a young beauty passes by in a thong swimsuit, and you fantasize about how great she'd look in a "robe anglais."

...for Ladies: At the beach, Mr. Beefcake swaggers by, and you admire the turn of his calf.

...you've bought or made lead dice.

...you know by heart the lines to: Zulu, Zulu Dawn, The Four Feathers, and ANY Monty Python skit.

...you've repeatedly worn wool when the temperature tops 100 degrees Fahrenheit.

...you and your spouse are in direct competition over who gets to wear more plumes.

...you've received flint cuts, pan flash burns, pulled off ticks, been infested by chiggers, gotten poison ivy, and still look forward to camping out every time.

...if there are a couple of cannon balls on stairs.

...if your house needs a coat of paint.

...if on holidays half the bowls and cups on the dinner table are hand thrown reproductions or tin.

...if there are two or three muskets stacked in the parlor corner.

...if there are half completed sewing projects decorating the parlor furniture.

...you've made a career decision based on its impact on your weekends.

...you've made a vehicle purchase decision based on how well it accommodates your kit and gets into and out of lost fields

...your neighbors talk about how your house smells of rotten eggs on Mondays.

...on Monday your business associates comment on the funny tan/sunburn line that ends at the hatline.

...no one will attend a war movie/historical costume drama with you.

...your reenacting wardrobe is more valuable than your business attire.

...your $30,000 car sits out in the weather so your $200 tent can stay in the garage.

...you have more reenacting shoes than 20th century shoes.

...you spend more on a pair of reenacting shoes than on your "dress" shoes.

...you earn a good salary, but are always broke.

...your mailman stays confused (what the heck rank are you in the Reserves anyway?)

...your kids can correct their history teachers.

...you fly strange flags.

...your vanity tag gets lots of comment (Fusilier; 1st NH; 2SC).

...your business associates are afraid to walk into your office. (Is that grenade on your desk real?)

...your freezer is full of candles (makes 'em burn longer - really!)

...you're on PETA's hit list (we love animals; we eat them and wear their skins).

...you have more closet space devoted to costumes than "real" clothes.

...you get the "flux" on the way back home.

...in the middle of summer, you dread wearing a short-sleeved shirt in your air-conditioned office, while you can't wait to get to the next event, where you can dress in a long sleeved shirt, with a vest, wool coat, hat, and carry around 40 or 50 pounds of bulky gear on your back, while firing away with your musket, and then relaxing next to your cookfire.

...you have ever been asked at a gas station if you are Amish.

...you have ever assessed road kill as lunch meat potential.

...you win Halloween costume competitions - hands down.

...if you answered any or all of the following questions from the public; Is that a real fire?, Is that a real baby?, Is that real food and do you eat it?, Did you sleep here last night?, Do you sleep in that?, Is that a real sword?, Can that gun shoot?, Do you use real bullets?, Are you Paul Revere or George Washington? (You retort "In a Red Coat!!?"), Aren't you hot?, Do you get wet if it rains?, Is that hair real?, What did they use for toilet paper?, Are you from the North or the South? (At a Revy War event), Asked by a kid after a battle: "Did you really die?"
Irish-American
Active Newbie
Full Name: I'd rather not say
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:52 am
Karma: 5

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby redneckjedi on Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:26 am

been infested by chiggers
:cry: Chiggers suck... as do fire ants. And yellowjackets. And strange, striped mosquitoes...

I have been asked several of those questions. "Is that fire real"? "What did they use for firewood"? "You must be a Celt (pronounced selt)" in reference to my 14th century English hand-gonner kit... which I never did get the hand gonne.
"Sir, you're mad with power!"
"Of course I am. You ever try being mad *without* power? It's boring. Nobody listens to you."
User avatar
redneckjedi
Full Name: Gary C. Morris
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Nov 05, 2007 12:00 am
Location: Charleston, WV, USA
Karma: 0

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby Irish-American on Sat Mar 14, 2009 1:54 am

I had someone at a American Civil War reenactment ask me "which side was the Americans?" I was so temped to respond "We're the South Americans, those are the North Americans." :lol: Someone asked my friend Jenny "Are those horses real?" (as it was pooping) Ginny says "Yes." She walks toward me outta ear shot of Jenny and she turned to her 4yr old and said, "She lied, those aren't real." One of my friends who did a reenactment at Gettsbrug got asked "Why were battles fought in National Parks?"
Irish-American
Active Newbie
Full Name: I'd rather not say
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:52 am
Karma: 5

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby Malo on Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:45 am

A friend of mine said once on a German Forum about how he met his wife:

"You know you are a re-enactor if you meet in Ancient Rome, fall in love in the Napoleonic era and get married in world War 1"

;)
Vive La Nation!!!
Malo
Active Newbie
Full Name: Jaques-Louis Malo
 
Posts: 161
Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:00 pm
Location: Dublin
Karma: 13

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby Irish-American on Sat Mar 14, 2009 3:58 pm

lol!
I onced asked this girl reenactor for her number after and she said, "I'm to young to court a soldier!" Geting rejected Civil War style in the 21st cent really hurts double :)
I love people that ask "Is that uniform hot?" (As sweat is pouring down my face)
Irish-American
Active Newbie
Full Name: I'd rather not say
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:52 am
Karma: 5

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby Malo on Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:14 am

Well at least she tried to be gentle when rejecting you.

I was once told by a female re-enactor, that she wouldn't date ordinary peasant soldiers, only officers, aristocrats and gentlemen.

So I joined the French revolutionary forces and led her to the guillotine... :twisted:
Vive La Nation!!!
Malo
Active Newbie
Full Name: Jaques-Louis Malo
 
Posts: 161
Joined: Tue Jul 24, 2007 11:00 pm
Location: Dublin
Karma: 13

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby Irish-American on Sun Mar 15, 2009 4:01 pm

Maybe...
Why do look for dates at reenactments anyway?
This has happened to me:...for Men: You're at the beach and a young beauty passes by in a thong swimsuit, and you fantasize about how great she'd look in a "robe anglais."
I love how when some spectators are with there wifes and/or families they pretend to know history! some guy pointed to my battery and said "That's the 12th Irish artillery from New York." (We were plainly in Confederate uniform, battle flag flapping have a big sign that said "1st Virginia artillery Army of northern Virginia" I was like "wtf!"
"you have ever been asked at a gas station if you are Amish." Oh yea been there!
Irish-American
Active Newbie
Full Name: I'd rather not say
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:52 am
Karma: 5

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby soutreb on Sun Mar 15, 2009 6:31 pm

My problem is that with all the open fields and farmland, here, in Ireland each time I drive past I find myself visualising;
a) a camp site :)
b) a battle scene ;)
c) a camp site for Federals as far from b) as possible. :twisted: payback for CS camps being a distance from the battle sites...Gettysburg 08 !! :evil:
God Bless Dixie,
Soutreb.
Cpl. "F Troop," 1st MO Cav (Dis) C.S.A.
Cpl. Co.F, 6th LA Vol. Inf. C.S.A.
Cpl. 10th TN Vol. Inf. C.S.A.
User avatar
soutreb
Full Name: Liam McAlister
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:00 am
Location: Cork
Karma: 14

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby Irish-American on Sun Mar 15, 2009 6:39 pm

My units truck broke down before G'brug so I missed out. Hoping to get to perryvile '10 For some reason my unit is always behind the outhouses. I nicknamed us "shiters battery" for that. My thing is I'd be siting in Geometry daydreaming about the charge at Fredricksbrug and Mr. M would catch me.
He'd slap his ruler on my desk and say, what is the sqareroot of 186?"
I'd say, "Uh..1862?" :D
Irish-American
Active Newbie
Full Name: I'd rather not say
 
Posts: 132
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:52 am
Karma: 5

Re: You might be a reenactor if..

Postby gobae on Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:20 pm

Friend visiting your house: "Where's an electrical outlet?"
Off hand reply: "Right over there behind the spear and shield"

Get excited over a rusty chunk of metal and treasure it because it's REAL wrought iron.

Asking your friends if they have any animal bones they're not using.

When you need an everyday common item (that you could easily buy), you seriously entertain the idea of not only making it yourself, but starting from the RAW materials. Even if that would mean, smelting iron, shearing a sheep, butchering the neighbors pets, or felling trees.

You slow down to check out road-kill in case there's any body parts you might need.
User avatar
gobae
Full Name: Dan Crowther
 
Posts: 39
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2003 12:00 am
Location: Valley Falls, NY -USA
Karma: 14

Next

Return to General Chat

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron